Dying a slow death...

Sanctification.  The dictionary defines it as, ' the state of growing in divine grace as a result of Christian commitment after baptism or conversion.'  Huh??  Well, that explains it....not!  

Did you know the early Jews did not look forward to heaven?  Not directly anyway.  In Genesis, chapter 17, the Bible records that everything that mattered to the Jews, everything that they lived for, involved either land or family. (descendants)  They were blessed with great gifts of property and family from God and that became the focus of their lives.  So, imagine how confused they were when Jesus spoke these words in Luke, chapter 14?

If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters - yes, even his own life - he cannot be my disciple...in the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.

EVERYTHING!  Family, land, possessions.  Wow.  Now, understand that these things were not bad, and Jesus certainly did not want them to hate their families.  The point was that He was to be number one above everything in their lives.  Even the good things must be secondary. 

Sanctification begins when I die to self every day.  Jesus is my Saviour, but is he my Lord? 

Therefore, I am dying a slow death every day as I seek to have less of me, and more of Him.

Thorn in my side.

7 To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.10 That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians: 7-10)

The great question...what was the 'thorn in Paul's side?'  I haven't thought about these verses in a long time.  Then a few days ago portions of this popped into my mind.  Still amazes me how verses I memorized or read when I was younger will come to me so many years later.

Boy, does this speak loud and clear to me these days.  I have had a 'thorn' in my side for three years now.  I have begged and pleaded for it to be taken away.  I have been hurt and confused that it continues to 'torment' me.  I have asked, 'why?!!'  And there it is.  Is God's grace sufficient for me?  Can I delight in 'hardships, in persecution, in difficulties?'  Well, I must admit, there is not much delighting going on.  However, I am starting to find peace and rest as I continue to trust and accept that God still loves me and cares for me even when it does not feel like it.

Still, I wonder, how did Paul do it?  I do wish we had more of the story at times.  My pastor has often told me that he believes many things are left unsaid in the Bible so that we don't focus on specifics.  This makes sense to me, but I still wonder what Paul did to cope on a daily basis.  For now, I know that I have a choice.  I can focus on the 'thorn', or I can praise God for helping me rely on His strength rather than mine.  I haven't figured this out yet, but I'm working on it.