Thorn in my side.

7 To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.10 That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians: 7-10)

The great question...what was the 'thorn in Paul's side?'  I haven't thought about these verses in a long time.  Then a few days ago portions of this popped into my mind.  Still amazes me how verses I memorized or read when I was younger will come to me so many years later.

Boy, does this speak loud and clear to me these days.  I have had a 'thorn' in my side for three years now.  I have begged and pleaded for it to be taken away.  I have been hurt and confused that it continues to 'torment' me.  I have asked, 'why?!!'  And there it is.  Is God's grace sufficient for me?  Can I delight in 'hardships, in persecution, in difficulties?'  Well, I must admit, there is not much delighting going on.  However, I am starting to find peace and rest as I continue to trust and accept that God still loves me and cares for me even when it does not feel like it.

Still, I wonder, how did Paul do it?  I do wish we had more of the story at times.  My pastor has often told me that he believes many things are left unsaid in the Bible so that we don't focus on specifics.  This makes sense to me, but I still wonder what Paul did to cope on a daily basis.  For now, I know that I have a choice.  I can focus on the 'thorn', or I can praise God for helping me rely on His strength rather than mine.  I haven't figured this out yet, but I'm working on it.