What I cannot change.

During these past 5 months as my marriage is healing, I have had to face the fact that I have a lot of bad habits and problems that I have ignored over the years.  How much easier it has been to focus on MY hurts and ignore any hurting I was contributing to!  Suddenly I see so many things I never noticed, or, at the very least, refused to notice, before.  And I don't like what I've seen.

So, one miracle has been the way my gracious Father patiently works on my character and has been showing me that it's not too late to change.  And it hurts!  It's exhausting...it's frustrating...it's overwhelming some days.  But as I yield MY will and accept HIS love I am filled with a peace that truly does transcend all understanding.

This week was particularly challenging.  Let's just say I have a hard time accepting things I cannot change.  (Which, when you think about it, pretty much means everything because we can't change ANYTHING but ourselves...and even then I am a pretty tough customer...)  Anyway, there are a few people I come into contact with daily - at one of my jobs and a neighbour - that have made it their mission in life to aggravate me.  No, seriously.  I'm not just talking about someone who bugs you with the way they do things or how mean they are.  I am talking about people that actually go out of their way to push your buttons and they KNOW exactly where and what those buttons are.

So, last week I printed out the Serenity prayer.  You know, the one that says;

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

The courage to change the things I can

And the wisdom to know the difference.

I've heard this prayer hundreds of times, but it really is quite life changing when you claim it.  As I meditate on this, I am comforted by the fact that the Wisdom comes from God.  As I rest in this, I can focus less on what irritates and hurts me and focus more on how I can change myself and be an encouragement to others.  I stink at this.  I'm thankful I don't have to do it alone.

And you know what else?  I am learning to pray a blessing over those I cannot change.  Now THAT is proof that God's spirit is working in me...